Did I mention I am Chinese?

5 yr old lil girl with a whole lotta attitude: "Ms. Zhang, your eyes are like Chinese eyes. They're from China. They're weird."
Me: "Yea, you know, I am Chinese... I wouldn't say they're weird.. I think I'm pretty in my own way...?"
Girl: "Oh! I ain't sayin' you're not CUTE! They're just different." 

(In all seriousness.)

Boy: Ms. Zhang, are you Puerto Rican?

Reading Group

Boy: *throws up on floor*
Teacher: Oh sweetie, it looks like you caught the stomach bug that's been going around.
Boy: But I didn't eat a bug...I promise!


Boy: I don't like plants that bite. What are they called again?
Me: Venus Flytraps.
Boy: Yea. Those. Only Batman can kill them because he has weapons.

With lots of 'tude

Girl: Mhmmm, I'mma have my birthday party in a hotel room.
Me: Oh really?
Girl: Yea. No boizz being fresh, no gurlz being fresh.
Me: [looks at her mom]
Mom: Yup. That's a big lesson in life.

In the middle of a lesson while everyone is silent...

Boy: "I just farted. Don't laugh."

[Funny thing is no one heard a sound before he announced it.]

Start of Year 2

[Pregnant teacher walks by]
Boy: Hey, *point at stomach,* what's in there anyways?

Boy: My mom had surgery yesterday.
Teacher: Oh no, is she ok?
Boy: Yea, but the bump she had in her stomach went away.
Teacher: Oh... did she...have a baby?
Boy: I don't know. There's a baby in the house now though.

[During a Reading Comprehension test]
Teacher: Can you make a connection to this story from your life?
Boy: No....
Teacher: Try it. Why can't you?
Boy: Because.... all the kids in this story are happy and doing happy things.

[During Writing Class--First Grader now]
Boy: *Raises hand*
Teacher: Yes?
Boy: I have a speech.
Teacher: .... ok... I'm sorry, we don't have time for a speech. Can you tell me what it's about?
Boy: No, I have to say the whole thing.
Teacher: .... ok, *confused but amused* Go ahead and tell us.
Boy: *Stands up, raises arm in air* I... I just wanted to tell you and all the other teachers in the school.... that you are all doing a great job of teaching us. ...Even though I don't think I'm learning enough.

With all Sincerity

Me: Lance, are you making noise during our silent breakfast? >:O

Lance: No? It's music.

Me: >__<"" (and I know he really thinks he was making beautiful music)

Timmy: *not reading during independent reading time and just looking at me*

...after 2 mins.

Me: Timmy, why are you not reading?

Timmy: I'm having a staring contest with you. *stare.*

Quotes Up Till Now

*baby girl sits next to my student*
Jake: Hey, this baby is cute.
Me: Aww, that's such a nice thing to say to her.
Jake: You are too Ms. Zhang! *big smile*
Me: *blushes*

Me: Wow, Cassie, you're such a mom. You always take care of everyone.
Jake: Me too, I think I want to be a man too. *big smile* and I want a house, yea, I think I want a house too.
Me: *thinks: oh Jake.... oh little Jake, how clueless you are*

[Class is writing about something they did with family]
Jake: Ms. Zhang, look what I wrote. It's my cat. He needs to listen to Justin Bieber to fall asleep.

[I just finished reading a story on the carpet]
Me: Theeee End.
Class: *applause*
4 yr-old Lance: *applause* Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

<3